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One benefit I've gotten from online dating has worked sort of backwards for me; nothing happened online so it encouraged me to get out more again and be bolder when I do. I can't call it "a waste of time for most guys" because I've seen plenty of people go on great dates and form great relationships that started online. It's probably just not my kind of thing though. I feel like a lot of the fun in dating gets sucked out with online stuff. I think people too-easily write off a potential date because of some detail they discover online that they otherwise wouldn't know or even care about if they found out in person.
Does that make sense? TL;DR - Online dating doesn't work for me, but it's encouraged me to become even more outgoing and flirty.
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It's better suited to some than others; you make your decision on how well it works for you. I once groggily grabbed the girl I was sleeping with's phone instead of mine in the middle of the night. I checked to make sure my alarm was set, then decided to check on my okc since I was up anyway. Now mind you, this girl is not all that attractive and has a very generic, bland profile. It finally hit me that I'd grabbed the wrong phone when my jaw dropped at over 50 new messages, guys begging for a date, offering to buy her expensive shit, writing her poems, you name it.
A man of similar attractiveness and intellect will receive probably two or three half hearted "what's up" messages over a six month period, from the absolute bottom of the barrel. Or so I'm told. Probably explains why they're so wary to meet someone from online. They assume you're super thirsty until proven otherwise because of all the other guys out there. The problem is Other guys. They create a false sense of demand. Girls have gotten so used to it. They weed out all but the 9s and 10s in their eyes. MUCH better chances in real life.
Online I find a challenge. In real life, girls approach me. Yes online dating is a waste of time. I get no love from women online, but in real life I can get women. The truth is, you probably have more competition with online dating than meeting someone out somewhere. Look at the numbers. Everyone who tells you any different is selling you the classic false bill of goods of hope and change. Sun Tzu knew better.
Is online dating a waste of time for most guys? : AskMen
I've basically decided I'm not even going to bother trying online. First, I've got other shit I need and want to do. Second, it's a market, and I fucking hate sales. Third, I hate communicating like that. My experience has been "yes": I think if you look into the very essential reasons a person even turns to online dating, that's kind of indicative of the reason they aren't in successful relationships anyway. Usually the fact that they keep putting everything else ahead of their relationships is exactly why they are there in the first place.
Yeah, their profile talks about liking all these activities and interests, but if they were actually participating they would be meeting people at those activities. It's not really a level playing ground on a dating site inasmuch as there are always going to be three times the number of men to women, which means even the unattractive women are receiving dozens of messages every day.
That means it is that much harder for your message to stand out and even be read, let alone considered. A woman on a dating site can afford to be choosey and so they are extremely choosey. I would recommend Meetup. I met my wife at a meetup.
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I had better success with that general group getting dates than I did with the singles meetup groups came away with two dates in one night from the general group. I said this to my wife just last night, because I saw her the week before at a singles meetup group but didn't talk to her because she was already talking to another guy.
The following week at the New-To-The-Area group I was able to sit and talk to her more easily mostly just because it wasn't all singles trying to find gold. Anyway, I said to her that it's questionable that would we have hit it off even if we did talk at the singles group because you kinda already know why one another is there and you're looking for reasons to pursue or dismiss. I don't think you're really being yourself at one of those, nor are you really being yourself on a dating site.
At the general group, we were just two people talking and I told I remembered her from the singles group and it went on from there. So, if you ask me, ditch online dating, sign up for Meetup. It's a lot less pressure and you already have something to talk about given you share a common interest. You'll also find there is a lot less competition in having to stand out amongst a dozen other men that way.
If you insist on doing online sites, then draft up a basic "form response" that you can copy and paste, maybe tweak it some on an individual basis if there is something particular that stands out about a girl and just play the numbers game: Out of about attempts, aren't going to answer, the other twenty you'll e-mail back and forth for a bit and you'll whittle it down to 1 you actually meet for a date.
That's been my experience. I had bad luck with girls so i try online dating and i found a girl that i been with for six months never been happier. Depends how much time you spend on it. If you have a tinder profile and swipe when you're bored, I don't see how that could detract from your life. Which I think is positive--I think that means I'm above the average, at any rate, because you tend to limit that range down to attractive people anyway.
Every date I've been on has been from online dating. It was awful because the girls were generally pretty terrible. I'm trying to get to know you, I want to see your interest in me. Responding with like two sentences kinda signals that you're uninterested, but maybe that's just me. But then I actually go on a date with them, and it comes to light that they're super trashy people. The type that get overzealous about hot-button topics in public and are generally just kind of annoying. The kind of person who is averse to learning, the person that's on a computer 12 hours a day but has never used a terminal--or worse, can barely use folders.
They're the kind of people that think a nice dinner is McDonald's. So, I guess I'd say that it isn't a waste of time or effort, but you have to set reasonable expectations. Anyone who's even remotely worth dating has twenty guys that are each 5x better than you on hold. You should be able to glean what kind of person they are from how their profile is written and on okc how the answer the questions.
If you didn't know you were meeting up with a trashy dumb girl, that's on you because their profile will give that away in the first few sentences. Unfortunately, not everyone who is online dating is actually interested in dating I'm using the term to range from hook-ups to LTRs. Specific demographics likely have relatively uniform intentions. Age is the biggest determinant. Girls are a social asset. Unless they're particularly unattractive, they will likely have active social lives, meeting plenty of people.
Generally, the only reason they jump online is for attention. They don't even have to talk to anyone, the pure volume of messages is validation enough. I'm guessing you're in your mids at the oldest, likely younger. It is likely a waste of time. If your mids and you don't have interests that allow you to meet enough women, online dating will likely not work for you. Your profile will be too boring, because if you were exciting enough to have an impressive profile, you would be able to meet women through those exciting things, rather than online dating.
Sorry, if I sound bitter or if that's harsh, but optimism is not something that will look good in your profile so you may as well drop that too. That was more so a rhetorical statement. I just got done explaining that an inability to meet women IRL will correlate with a lack of success in online dating, precisely because the things that make your profile enticing are the things that mean you would be meeting women anyways. What I was saying was a profile lacking anything substantial does not benefit from from thinking that you'll be okay anyways.
Of course optimism is great if you already have an interesting profile, but it's not going to replace actual content. I just deleted my account. I get a lot more joy in the real world. Something about the set up where women vet men like job interviewers and discard the profiles or messages they don't like makes power go to the head and they behave unrealistically. We send all the messages, they do all the deciding. It's bad for us from the design. That's my theory anyway. I mean I hear on here how other guys send dick pics or 'u want some fuk' messages. How they're rude and sexual straight away or have no tact.
Or just say 'Hi'. I can get those being ignored. But I've always sent actual messages, respectful ones. And I get about one back for every dozen I send. Oh I've gotten some good dates and met some good people from online dating but in general it's too demeaning to guys and I'm not doing it again.